Going on street retreat

Next week, on june 30th, I'll be going on street retreat. With a group of around 10 other Upaya residents we'll be living on the streets of Albuquerque for 4 days. The retreat will be led by Joshin, Upaya's vice abbot who has done and led many street retreats before. We will have no money, no phones (except for Joshin), no showers and no clean clothes. We will sleep outside and eat food that is given, for instance at homeless shelters.

Before we go, every one of the participants has to raise money by asking people for financial support. We're going to make a mala (like a rosary that you wear around your wrist), where each bead on the mala represents a person who is supporting you. Therefore I would also like to humbly ask you, my dear reader, if you would like to make a contribution.

Of course, this is an unusual kind of request. So let me try to explain some more about what we are doing by answering a few questions I can imagine some of you might have.

Street retreat? Who thought of that?

The idea (and the street retreat 'rules') came from Bernie Glassman Roshi. He is Roshi Joan's zen teacher and thus my dharma great grandfather. He wrote the book Bearing Witness, in which he introduces the notion of 'bearing witness retreats', which includes the street retreats, as well as Auschwitz retreats.

Is it safe?

Of course, safety of the participants is a priority. Therefore we have street retreat ' rules'. For instance, we will never be alone. When we are not together with the whole group, we will break up in smaller groups. A few times a day, we will all come together, for meditation, sharing of our experiences and zen ceremonies. We will always sleep with everybody together.

For God's sake, why?

To explain why we go on streat retreat I'll start by explaining a little bit about Buddhism.

According to legend, Shakyamuni Buddha was raised in a beautiful, comfortable palace without contact with the outside world. His spiritual quest, however, was ignited when he finally did leave the confines of the palace and encountered a sick person, an old person and a dying person. Confronted with these sights, and being deeply unsettled by them, he started his search: how can we deal with and relate to this suffering? Can we find a different way of dealing with it than we usually do? Can we be liberated from suffering or maybe even liberated by suffering?

Thus, the starting points in Buddhism are suffering and not turning away from suffering. Our usual responses are mostly to try to avoid suffering. For example, in our societies, death is very much kept hidden. This tendency to ignore suffering is seen as counterproductive: refusing to meet suffering face to face is what perpetuates our habitual and unfree ways to deal with it. Like Machik Labdron (and Pema Chodron) encourages us:

"Confess your hidden faults.

Approach what you find repulsive.

Help those you think you cannot help.

Anything you are attached to, let it go.

Go to the places that scare you."

Similarly, yesterday I reread (an older version of) the 14 precepts that Thich Nhat Hanh uses for his order of interbeing. The fourth precept reads:

"Do not avoid contact with suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of sufferingin the life of the world. Find ways to be with those who are suffering by all means (...). By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world."

Those who live on the streets are often the ones that society has left behind. Those who cannot take care of themselves or those who can or wil not play by society's rules. The losers and the misfits. How do we deal with them? Do we deal with them? Or would we rather not deal with them at all? Often that is just the easiest way: to look away when a beggar asks for money. Why is that? Does it makes us feel uncomfortable? Is it easier to blame them for their situation? Because they do not play by the rules that we require ourselves and others to play by?

But I thought zen was about being quiet and calm?

Well, to some extent maybe. It may seem that meditation practice is about not engaging in the world. That it is about finding a quiet place that is undisturbed by noise or problems from the outside world and about enjoying a calm state. And that is not entirely untrue, I guess. Such outer quiet and calm, however, will often lead to inner unquiet and uncalm. We can be confronted much more strongly by our struggles and difficulties that we have inside without all the distractions that we usually face. In meditation we can learn to deal with these difficulties in another way: being with them, without surpressing or being dominated by them. Seeing them and being with them without being overwhelmed by them. Then, over time, we may find that our inner landscape does become more harmonious. Moreover, we may become more able to deal with difficulties and distressing things from the outside in an open, balanced and skillfull way.

So are you going to help the homeless people?

Well, no. Or not directly, anyway. Maybe talking to us may offer some sort of help for some homeless folks. And who knows how our retreat participants will be changed by this experience, and to what they may be inspired in the future. But no, helping the homeless is not the aim. The aim is to get some experience of what living on the streets is about, knowing very well that our experience will always be fundamentally different from theirs, since we have nice showers, clean clothes, beautiful nutritious meals and comfortable beds to return to.

Are you going to pretend you are homeless?

No. We are not going to pretend in any way. When we talk to homeless people (which will happen, for instance since we will often eat together at the same places) and they ask why we are there, we will tell the truth and try to explain as best as we can why we are there. Besides, they will be able to see we are not actually homeless people. All of a sudden a group of 10 new, mostly white people appear who look way to healthy to be homeless...

Isn't it insulting or offensive to real homeless people?

This is going to be my first streaat retreat, so I don't know. But what I have heard and read is that the opposite is true. Most homeless people appreciate it that we are taking an interest, that we talk to them, take them seriously and treat them with dignity (hopefully).

You're raising money, but you're going to be on the streets without money... So where does the money go?

The money will be donated to organizations that help the homeless in Albuquerque, and whose generosity we will depend on to feed and sustain ourselves while on the streets. At the end of the retreat all of us participants will together decide which organizations we want to donate the money to.

Another reason why we have to ask for money is because homeless people also have to do that. For many of us, asking for money is very awkward and difficult and it brings up a lot of stuff in us (as, for that matter, being asked for money may also do). On the streets we will probably also be begging, which is an opportunity to let go of pride and of our need to be independent. Another instance to approach what we find repulsive.

How can I contribute?

If you feel that you would like to support us, you can do so by means of wire transfer to my personal bank account. The IBAN (International Bank Account Number) is NL63 RABO 0322 3646 47, by name of Willem Woertman. Please mention ' street retreat' in the description.

Of course, there is much more I could say about street retreat, but I'll stop here. For those who would like to know more, see Bernie Glassman's book. In a later blog post I will share my experiences on the streets. I will also write about the oganization(s) we donated the money we raised to, and what they do.

#streetretreat #BernieGlassman #begging #UpayaZenCenter